Distraction (Break Up Blog #4)

I think it's good to distract yourself as much as possible especially in the first year because the pain is just too huge to face head on every day, all day, day after day. Even with distraction there will be plenty of opportunities each day to fall to the floor in a puddle of your own tears because of something as simple as the egg you set on the counter rolling onto the floor and cracking.

One of the things I needed to distract myself from was the rage and resentment and feeling that I wanted revenge. From the very beginning I knew I didn't want to hate someone so much. This person already stepped all over my former life and now they were occupying and ruining my present. I couldn't let that person get the better of me and used that resentment and transformed it into positive action for myself ... with lots of stumbling and crashing and wailing along the way. 

It was imperative that I put that rage and desire for revenge to the side or it would have become all consuming. This is not like simply setting down a heavy burden, it's more like shoving a monster into a closet that doesn't have a lock on the door so you constantly have to keep one foot or a hand or shoulder wedged up against the door to keep the beast inside while you use all the rest of your body and mind to live life out in the world.

Distract yourself with positive actions for yourself. If your current work or hobbies aren't enough distraction, take an online class. Join a club. Learn an instrument. Volunteer. Watch movies, play computer games, listen to music, paint, sing, dance.  Grab at whatever comes by and give it all your focus even if you only do it once. You never know what thing(s) are going to help you get through the day. It's day by day at this point. Stay busy and active. Hang in there. Ask for help. You are not alone.