Support of Others (Break Up Blog #2)

Reach out to as many people as you can. Spread yourself over your friends and family so no one person gets exhausted. What really helped me was being able to text people. I often needed support and connection, but could barely speak. Texting saved me so many times. Sometimes just the act of typing the text and knowing it was going to reach out of my bleak darkness and be received by someone could shift the moment. Sometimes the reply is what offered some piece of wreckage to cling to. Often I would have several text streams going at once. It didn't always have to be about what was going on for me. Sometimes I would ask for a story or a joke or to hear about the normal day a friend had.

If you need more Support there is a Text Crisis hot line. Text HOME to 741741

When asking for help I think it's best to avoid people who expect you to feel a certain way about the situation rather than how you actually feel. And believe me your feelings can change from minute to minute. Don't let other people's stories determine your narrative. You need people who will listen to what's going on for you and who will stop you from violence and revenge or doing something really crazy.

Watch out for phrases from friends like:

"You're better off without them"

"What an asshole"

"You're still moping about that jerk? After what they did to you?"

"The only way you're going to get over this is to forgive."

This is your time table. You may desperately not want to feel the way you feel and have no idea how to change the way you do, but give yourself the right to feel what you're feeling. If it gets too scary, seeking the help of a professional is a really good idea.